I walk to work (in Redfern) every day in my shiny clothes with my blonde hair and blue eyes, looking like I don’t have a care in the world and with plenty of money to burn. What you don’t see are the tears in my eyes as I stop to buy my Big Issue from the lovely vendor at Redfern Station, wishing, just wishing, that my Dad would get his act together enough to do that instead of sitting around in an alcoholic haze waiting for Council to come and take his home away. The home that he destroyed with dirt, rubbish, debt and despair. They also don’t see the sadness behind the smile that wishes I didn’t have “good” days and “bad” days, the bad days so dark you wouldn’t wish them on your worst enemies.
I come from a broken home and spent my teen years stopping my Dad from gassing himself due to depression and holding my Mother’s head over the toilet at 1am on school nights while she vomited because she drank too much. I spent another 20 or so years trying not to cop drunken abuse over what a loser I was and how I’d amount to nothing, until I said, “Enough, I’m worth more than that”. I have watched my sister struggle with serious mental health issues as a result of the various experiences we have both had and as the result of an awful assault, and I’ve spent years visiting my Grandmother at the “mental” hospital getting yet another round of shock treatment.
In all of this, I’ve remained true to myself, even when I’ve struggled with confidence, and I’ve stayed determined to be one of life’s contributors, not victims. Our family has had its fair share of victims so I decided to try something different. I’ve worked hard both in my professional life and on my personal approach to life, and I’d like to think that over the years I’ve learnt from my life experiences and can contribute to the future of Redfern and its people in a positive, compassionate and open-minded way.
I love Aboriginal people and have spent the last decade of my life working alongside some of the most inspirational, proud and hard-working Aboriginal people, to protect Aboriginal cultural heritage and values. To be able to live in an area where Aboriginal cultural heritage is so prevalent and alive is a privilege, and I would never want to push anyone out, through my purchasing of a house, my eating at the new cafes and drinking at the small wine bars popping up. In fact, I live and work in Redfern because I want to be a part of the future of Redfern in the most, positive, harmonious way possible.
I’m proud of where I am now, living in a beautiful home that my husband and I have pieced together all on our own, but it worries me that, if based on the superficial impression of others, I shouldn’t live here, drink here, be creative here and help contribute to a vibrant future for Redfern. If I shouldn’t live here, then tell me, where should I live?
